1 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,500 Hello, you gorgeous creature. 2 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,780 My, you're looking attractive today. 3 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,480 Thank you, darling. 4 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:28,260 I love you. My own sweet, precious, wonderful person. 5 00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,299 Oh, darling, thank you. Thank you again. 6 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:37,080 I want to hold you in my arms and rain kisses on you until the dawn. 7 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:41,900 Oh, darling, thank you. 8 00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:48,870 Well, 9 00:00:49,970 --> 00:00:52,390 I do like you half so much. I like kissing you because it's nice. 10 00:00:56,570 --> 00:01:00,570 I want to kiss you and love you and hold you in my arms all night and rain 11 00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:02,970 kisses over your lovely naked body until the dawn. 12 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,150 Hello, George. 13 00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:08,430 How's the wife and kids? 14 00:01:12,910 --> 00:01:16,190 It's the Benny Hill Show, and here is Benny Hill. 15 00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:23,990 La -da -dee, la -da -dee, la -da -dee, la -da -dee. My 16 00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:28,930 lovely Auntie Lil took our bus Inspector Bill into her bedroom and with great 17 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:34,210 annoyance said, Outside our house you put a stop and all the passengers on top 18 00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:36,870 can look in and see my husband and me in bed. 19 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,280 He said, you're joking. She said, you'll see. Just lay down on the bed with me. 20 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,020 So he laid down with her to avoid more fuss. 21 00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:49,100 Her old man came in and saw him, but Bill kept his decorum. He said, it's all 22 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,100 right. I'm just waiting for a bus. 23 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:57,220 The early morning mist, the first time we got kissed outside the churchyard. 24 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,620 Some words of wisdom spoken by a lady whose face was old and blind. 25 00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:06,200 La -da -dee, la -da -dee, la -da -dee. 26 00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:11,090 The swiftly fading memory of a song that we used to sing as children. 27 00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:17,830 These are the things you'll find among the ashes of the duffins of your... La 28 00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:23,970 -da -da -da -dee, la -da -da -dee, la -da -da -dee, la -da -da -dee. 29 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:28,910 Unannouncing by the sea to old men that near to leave lift their boots off for a 30 00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:30,110 paddle by the pier. 31 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:35,120 One of them said, you rotten swine, your feet are dirtier than mine. He said, of 32 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,320 course they are, I didn't come last year. 33 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:43,320 Well, he was by the sand, the boy was holding in his hands a cornet he bought 34 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,320 from the cafeteria. 35 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:49,740 He dropped it down the lady's neck and she hollered, bloomin' heck, that 36 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:52,000 must have flown straight from Siberia. 37 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:57,300 The early morning mist, the first time that we kissed outside the churchyard. 38 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:04,460 Some words of wisdom spoken by a gentleman whose face was old and blind. 39 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:09,940 -dee, la -da -dee, la -da -dee. The swiftly fading memory of a song that he 40 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,260 to sing as children. 41 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:18,460 These are the things you'll find among the ashes of the dust in the air. La -da 42 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:20,220 -dee, la -da -dee. 43 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,820 As Charlie passed away, his young wife heard him say, I've been unfaithful to 44 00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,280 you many times, my dear. 45 00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:34,480 She said, oh, darling, never mind. In fact, I knew it all the time. 46 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,280 That's why I put that arsenic in your beer. 47 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:44,460 It was the one outside our gent. It was opened up officially last year. 48 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:49,540 And it was christened by Lord Ray and people came from miles away because 49 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,500 heard tell that he was a liberal beer. 50 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:57,510 morning mist, the first time that we kissed outside the churchyard. 51 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:03,930 Some words of wisdom spoken by a gentleman whose faith was overblown. 52 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:11,270 The swiftly fading memory of a song that we used to sing as children. 53 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:17,870 These are the things you'll find in my office at the customs of your mind. 54 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,680 Ladies and gentlemen, it's very nice to be with you all once again, and very 55 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,460 nice indeed to be able to welcome to the show my old friend, Hugh Paddock. 56 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,360 Good evening and welcome. 57 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,440 An army march is always stubborn, true or false. 58 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,280 Let's try and find out the answer to that one as we greet my first guest, on 59 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,020 leave from North Africa, Colonel Eatwell of the Royal... 60 00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,450 Army catering corps. 61 00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,910 Eat well by name, eat well by nature. 62 00:04:57,350 --> 00:05:01,330 Are the lads going to get the same slap -up Christmas dinner that they had last 63 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:04,790 year? Well, you see, last year my cook was Captain Kemp. 64 00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:06,450 An officer? 65 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:07,730 A corporal. 66 00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:10,910 Captain Kemp was a corporal? No, the corporal was Captain Kemp. 67 00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:16,010 Oh, Captain Kemp. Yes, do listen. There's a good captain. You're going to 68 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:18,890 over the place. 69 00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:20,170 And you... 70 00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:24,910 You see, this fellow said... Sydney. 71 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:31,970 George. George. George said... To me, he said... Sir, he said... We, we, 72 00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:38,030 we, we always have... He said, sir, we're going to need a lot of pepper. 73 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:43,550 Oh, ground pepper, tea and pepper, black pepper. I think pepper. 74 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,990 You see, fortunately, we have... 75 00:05:51,099 --> 00:05:55,380 Rather nice Arab girl. She used to help out in the kitchen. She was awfully 76 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:59,520 handy, what she had to be, because the corporal used to bite her thighs and 77 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,520 dumplings. 78 00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:05,620 We all used to bite her thighs and dumplings. 79 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,320 You used to bite her thighs and dumplings? Sometimes it was more than a 80 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,320 and dumplings. 81 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,360 She was a lovely little girl. 82 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,000 But the dinner, though, was it a success? 83 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,380 Yeah, howling success in more ways than one, you see. We did invite it along 84 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:25,340 these high, high, high, high, high, oh, yes, wonderful times. 85 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:31,300 These Highland chappies, you see, and when they had the dumpling, they said it 86 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,300 was pudding. 87 00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:35,480 Christmas pudding. Pudding them off their food. 88 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:39,480 What was? 89 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:41,280 The paper. 90 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:46,220 Oh, the K and the ground, white, black pepper. 91 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:48,980 The bag paper. 92 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:52,640 And then all the helpers. 93 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,980 After the party, Jesus, he said. 94 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,340 Where's all those lovely, tasty cheeses? 95 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:01,860 You know, 96 00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:07,420 I thought it was rather witty. I say, I come and bear the food, brother. 97 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:10,320 Oh, so he had stopped his gentleman, you see. 98 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,660 And then the major got up. He said, where's all those nice tarts? 99 00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:18,400 And this Arab girl came in with a bucket and went up to the corporal and said, a 100 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,700 pound of fillet. He said, a pound you bloody don't. 101 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:28,520 I said, the sauce is odd. 102 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,100 I said, this sauce is odd. 103 00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:39,040 And I said, is it okay? And he said, if it's okay with me, you've got to 104 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,120 remember Tubby Turner. 105 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:47,200 Yes. What kind of men are the catering corps? Well, you see, they're short 106 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,200 arse. 107 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:55,220 But they're awkward arse. And sometimes they have to work to the early arse. 108 00:07:55,500 --> 00:08:01,840 So, you see, they... I don't mind waiting. I don't know how. 109 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,800 They therefore have to be very adaptable. 110 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,140 But they're not combatants. They're very combatants. 111 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,239 No, no, no. 112 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,000 Not combatants. Oh, well, speak up, because I can't hear what you're saying. 113 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,540 Are they entitled to bear arms? 114 00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:24,120 Oh, yes. Bear legs, bear anything they like. 115 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:29,180 Only in the wrong time, of course. Are they ever called upon to kill? Yes, 116 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:33,220 indeed. Have you ever killed? Well, I've been pretty close to it once. I 117 00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:37,890 remember... I was with a bunch of officers, and we'd been on the wine for 118 00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:39,470 a bit, you know. Red wine. 119 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,450 White wine. The river wine. 120 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:47,890 We saw these tin cherries, you see. Oh, tasty. 121 00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:51,630 Who? The tin cherries. I'm talking about tin cherries, you see. 122 00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:57,510 I don't know if I've got a handle for their name, you know. 123 00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:09,530 of them lying by a fat wench, you see. A German girl. Who? The fat wench. No, I 124 00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,630 said they were lying by that wench. 125 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:15,570 And they all spotted me except one little officer. 126 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,840 And they all, of course, went off, you know. 127 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:22,780 I had him to my side. I was going to shoot and I thought, I don't know. I saw 128 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:27,240 that look on his face, that lovely warm smile on his face underneath that little 129 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,620 Charlie Chaplin moustache. 130 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,620 There's lovely warm human eyes under that shock of black hair. 131 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,340 And I thought to myself, no, I couldn't do it. 132 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,180 I couldn't. I said, go on now. 133 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,300 Blow off with thee, I said. 134 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,380 Well, I didn't say that, but I said so. 135 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,980 I don't want to, because you're sending here. 136 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:47,980 Off he went. 137 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:50,600 Come and see here, Adolf, said his comrades. 138 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,580 And I'm glad I didn't kill him, because it wouldn't have made any difference to 139 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:54,660 the war, would it? Well, 140 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,760 thank you very, very much. 141 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:57,960 Well, eat well. 142 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,820 Whether my next guest will ever... 143 00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:05,990 Thank you. 144 00:10:06,930 --> 00:10:11,110 Whether my next guest will ever get into the Guinness Book of Records is a 145 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:16,890 matter of conjecture. Thank you. For Mrs Smiley claims to have watched every ITV 146 00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:19,350 programme since its inception in 1955. 147 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:23,390 I mean, I've enjoyed every minute of it. It's been wonderful, wonderful. 148 00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:29,270 Good. Now, what is your current favourite show, Mrs Smiley? 149 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:34,520 Comedians? 150 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,800 Do you watch the comedians? 151 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:45,200 That is the show where all these men tell these far -fetched stories. 152 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:47,860 And the viewers laugh at them. 153 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,460 Is that party political broadcast? 154 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:51,760 No. 155 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,100 I'm going to have to see a programme over and over again before it sinks in. 156 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:59,240 not very bright, you see. I see it over and over a lot. Do you think the ITV 157 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,400 present a well -balanced schedule? I think they're marvellous, I do. I mean, 158 00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:07,120 honestly, sometimes you get drama and romance right at the same time you do. 159 00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,840 It's wonderful. What about an example? 160 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:13,740 Well, what about that boy, the risks that boy takes to get that box of 161 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,760 chocolates to that girl? 162 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:26,470 And when he gets there, what does he do? He puts the chocolates by her bedside 163 00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:27,970 and walks away. 164 00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:31,050 A lot of men would have woke her up and give her one. 165 00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,510 My husband would, I'll tell you. 166 00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:41,990 But I mean, this boy, perhaps he puts them there because he knows that he can 167 00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:43,890 perhaps come back tomorrow and give her two or three. 168 00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:48,670 Oh, I think it's wonderful. And the medical scientific ones they get on are 169 00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:50,030 marvellous. I like those. 170 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,250 Oh, I do. They show you how to mend a split hair. 171 00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:55,930 How about that, eh? Haven't we progressed? 172 00:11:56,710 --> 00:12:00,730 I mean, it's only not long ago they invented the steam engine and now they 173 00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:01,970 mend a split hair. 174 00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,010 Marvellous, isn't it? 175 00:12:04,910 --> 00:12:09,230 And they tell you how to kill 99 % of all household germs. 176 00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:10,630 Dead! 177 00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:14,550 I don't suppose you could kill them any other way, really. 178 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,300 And they tell you how to get rid of B -O. 179 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,420 That means body odor, do you know that? Yes, I did know that. I only just found 180 00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:28,880 out, because I always thought it meant body didn't. And then there's all the 181 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,980 deodorants, aren't they marvellous? The deodorants, well, they've got 182 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:34,700 specialised ones now, you know, for all different parts. 183 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:42,540 I mean, you can squirt them under the arms, under the feet, and under the 184 00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:43,540 circumstances. 185 00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:48,660 That's all I do, really. 186 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,440 Lovely. You mentioned a little while ago, you mentioned your husband. What 187 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,120 of shows does your husband watch? Well, I'll tell you one he likes best, and 188 00:12:56,120 --> 00:13:00,200 that is the one where that nice lady is sort of in the wood near a castle and 189 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,240 she's eating a bar of chocolate flake. 190 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:03,680 He likes that one. 191 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,560 You see, it makes him feel all romantic. 192 00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,000 I don't think why. 193 00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:16,230 Like those other ones where those girls roll about in the water, don't they? 194 00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:19,250 Sometimes like in the jungle when they, you know, they roll in the water. 195 00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:24,150 And then by the seashore, a girl rolls about and she always leaves a cigar 196 00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:25,150 nearby. 197 00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:28,950 And she's like, don't want to get it wet, you see. 198 00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:31,430 It's not nice when it's all wet. 199 00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:38,110 Like that other one where all the girls follow that man because he's got this 200 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,110 pipe, you see. 201 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,010 And then he's got a thing, doesn't he, with a bald head. 202 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,260 And he goes like that, and his friend gives him one, doesn't he? 203 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:49,120 Well, then he thinks he might take up the pipe again. 204 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:52,280 And he doesn't want to go up in them parachutes, you see. 205 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:59,560 Do you think perhaps that there's too much sex on television? 206 00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:02,480 Well, yeah, they get a bit saucy sometimes, don't they? 207 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,540 Well, yeah, what about that bank manager in the wardrobe? 208 00:14:10,570 --> 00:14:13,990 I mean, you know, he ain't come to inquire about her overdraft, has he? 209 00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:17,710 And how about that little milkman? 210 00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:24,350 I mean, you know what they say about little men. 211 00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:31,110 You'll notice he always comes round when her husband's out. 212 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:35,610 The only time he ever met her husband, what did he do? Told him to run... 213 00:14:45,239 --> 00:14:47,600 Miltman is really Sandra's father. 214 00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:53,760 Oh, I said, wash your mouth out with nice castle and water, I said. 215 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:59,520 Is there anything that you don't like on television? Well, I think some of these 216 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,180 occult things, you know, the supernatural, it frightens me, you know. 217 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:07,340 Yes. I mean, you know the one I mean, don't you? I mean, that one about extra 218 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,340 sexual perception. 219 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,320 Extra sensory perception. 220 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,600 As well, yes. 221 00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:22,070 I mean those two men you know the two I mean don't you I mean they manifest 222 00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:28,510 themselves sometimes as policemen and sometimes as 223 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:35,310 policemen but they know without making any inquiry whatsoever that that girl is 224 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:41,670 wearing a hairspray not only that they know what hairspray it is 225 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:44,840 and not only that she knows that they know. 226 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,520 Ooh, that delving into other people's minds like that thing shivers down my 227 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,520 spine. 228 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,060 Mrs. Spine, did you watch any other programmes on the other side? I mean, do 229 00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:56,500 watch anything like Panorama? 230 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:02,800 Pamanama? Is that like the bar with the nuts on the outside? No, no, no. Because 231 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,320 I never watch commercials, you see. 232 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,880 When the commercials come on, I go straight out the back. Well, thank you. 233 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,980 Always do. Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure. 234 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,740 Have you got a lather yet? 235 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:20,360 Star of such films as Man of Steel, Boss Man and Ramrod. Yes, you guessed it. It 236 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:24,220 could only be Hollywood's latest superstar, Butch Cafferty. 237 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:46,090 Don't stop that music. That's my favorite song. You know why? 238 00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:48,130 Because it paid my bills. 239 00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:51,250 Hey, remember Tequila Trail? 240 00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:54,110 Remember Tequila Trail? 241 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,310 A wonderful picture, that. 242 00:16:57,570 --> 00:17:01,070 It's not tequila, by the way. That's just plain ordinary water. 243 00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:03,390 Butch. 244 00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:11,589 This is your first trip to London. This is my first trip. Oh, yeah. 245 00:17:11,869 --> 00:17:13,089 Forget about it. Forget about it. 246 00:17:13,339 --> 00:17:14,339 That's nice material there. 247 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:18,560 This is my first trip to London. I want you to know that as far as I'm 248 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:23,020 concerned, London is the most exciting, the most interesting city in the whole 249 00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:24,020 of England. 250 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,119 I mean, that's a wonderful place. But your language. 251 00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,200 Oh, my God, your language. 252 00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,760 Well, I tell you, I was at London Airport. 253 00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:36,720 And this character stood there, and I said, would you help me with my bag? He 254 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:41,680 said, sir, I can't help you with your bag. I said, your bag, sir? He said, 255 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:42,800 because I'm a clerk. 256 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:46,880 I said, Gary, why? He said, I'm a clerk. I said, okay, sir, you're a clerk. You 257 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,380 go tick -tock, tick -tock. 258 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,080 I said, there's no course for alarm. 259 00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:55,420 God, he laughed. 260 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,700 He had to out of something to the end. 261 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,200 Butch, now, you've just returned from Italy, where you've been making one of 262 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,300 these Italian westerns. Oh, wait, what's up? Food in Italy. Oh, my God. I'm in a 263 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,440 restaurant there one night with this boy. 264 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:12,300 Oh, man, you know, a fellow actor, a very virile sort of man. 265 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:17,960 I was saying to him, and I said, I said, wow, I say, if I have any more 266 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,240 spaghetti and I burp, I'm going to lasso a waiter. 267 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,240 I don't know where that was. 268 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,480 Oh, the dialogue. 269 00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:29,280 in those spaghetti western films I tell you the dialogue it's the romantic in 270 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:33,140 quotes you know what I mean romantic in quotes see it with someone you love go 271 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:38,360 by yourself what do you always say who cares anyway 272 00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:44,430 There's this girl in this picture. Oh, my God. Is she a hard -faced bitch? Oh, 273 00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:48,070 my. Is it all right to say bitch on this program? Well, I think so. Is it okay? 274 00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:51,610 Well, anyway, I don't know what you said. Anyway, she says to me, she has to 275 00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:55,790 say, you're not in love with me. You're in love with your six -shooter. 276 00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,410 In love with my six -shooter. 277 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,030 Fond of it. 278 00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:06,530 Oh, wait till I tell you. There is this boy in this film, this full -blooded 279 00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:08,890 Indian boy. You know, he's so gorgeous. 280 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:12,190 And this boy, in a virile sort of way. 281 00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:18,110 And this boy in this picture, you know, he says, white man speak with forked 282 00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:20,010 tongue. I said, well, my God, none of us are perfect. 283 00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,310 He laughed. 284 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,960 Hey, wait a minute. I have gotten me a Savile Row suit. Now, how about a Savile 285 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,280 Row suit? Oh, quite the English gentleman. 286 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,380 In tweeds, yes, tweeds. 287 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:41,880 And I tell you what, I'm walking across Hyde Park there, and I'm wearing the 288 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,740 tweed suit. You know, I got down in the silver shoes. 289 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:48,100 with the little gold birds, you know. They're functional, you know. Well, you 290 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:52,000 know, I'm a lemon sock, and I got the green shirt, you know, with the red tie. 291 00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:55,420 And my fetton was my trademark, which is pink. 292 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,980 And I was walking along, and there was this workman by the side of the road. 293 00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:04,120 God, he was gorgeous. He had muscles all over his foot. And he looks at me in a 294 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:08,800 virile sort of way. And he looked at me, and he said, hey, you, he said, where's 295 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,759 your earrings? 296 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,180 I said, earrings with tweeds. 297 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:21,130 I mean, well, you know yourself that earrings, you know... Do you know you 298 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:22,130 very nice eyes? 299 00:20:22,870 --> 00:20:25,870 No, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. He's got very nice... I mean it. I 300 00:20:25,870 --> 00:20:27,930 mean it. You have very nice eyes. Are they blue? 301 00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:29,730 It's hard to tell. 302 00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:36,690 In what way do you think the English... What way 303 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:39,190 do you think the British differ from the Americans? 304 00:20:40,290 --> 00:20:42,070 I would say they're more sincere. 305 00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:43,830 They're much more sincere. 306 00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:47,190 And as I always say, be sincere. 307 00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:49,530 Even if you don't mean it. 308 00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:51,629 Be sincere. 309 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:54,990 I tell you, in Hollywood, everybody has an image. Everybody over there is 310 00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:56,090 putting up a front. They've all got fronts. 311 00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:57,890 Nobody's got any behinds anymore. 312 00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:01,670 And I'm over here with this gorgeous boy. God, he's gorgeous. 313 00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:05,670 Kid, I'm sharing a dressing room with an English actor. God, he's... Honestly, I 314 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:06,970 don't usually share because I'm a star. 315 00:21:09,279 --> 00:21:13,540 This young actor, and he's gorgeous, and he's so sincere, you know, because a 316 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,700 lot of young, good -looking men are conceited. I try not to be. 317 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:22,140 Because he's the same way. Because, folks, honestly, this is not the real 318 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,680 Honestly, you meet me in the street, you wouldn't recognize me. I wear furs, 319 00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:28,740 nylons, fenders, long black gloves. 320 00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:31,960 I'm kidding, of course. They know I'm kidding. Why don't I ask? 321 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,180 Of course, I'm kidding. 322 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,359 Why isn't he kidding? 323 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,740 Butch, there must be very... any precious on you. Hmm? 324 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,680 Precious on you. 325 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:42,980 Oh, precious. I thought you said precious. 326 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,220 I thought I was getting through to you. 327 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,400 Wow. 328 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:53,140 But anyway, you know, I've seen it so far there. But the thing is, now let me 329 00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:56,680 just tell you this. I, I, I was saying to my eldest son this morning, I said, 330 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,440 Karen, is that... I was speaking to him this morning. Are you a married man? 331 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,940 No, no, no. Don't do it. 332 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,400 Not as good as the real thing, I promise you. 333 00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:09,920 But my wife, oh, my wife, she gets on to me early morning till late at night. 334 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,840 She's on to me all the time. I hate her. I really do, because she says I'm a 335 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,900 feminist. I said, well, compared to you, everybody's a feminist. 336 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,300 What chances have you got? I mean, my father was the female impersonator. My 337 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,620 mother was the principal boy. 338 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,300 Well, 339 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,180 now, Butch, let's change the subject. I understand that you're writing... 340 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,640 writing your first book. Is it in any way autobiographical? 341 00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:36,860 Butch. 342 00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:39,100 Butch. 343 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:49,060 Well, Butch, we could go on talking like this for hours, but unfortunately that 344 00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:53,280 old clock on the wall tells me that we have only 43 and a half minutes to go, 345 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:57,340 with that, it's goodbye this week. Look in next week when we shall have some 346 00:22:57,340 --> 00:22:58,720 more interesting people for you. 347 00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:00,770 Much more interesting. 348 00:23:06,370 --> 00:23:09,430 A small, strong ale, please. 349 00:23:09,850 --> 00:23:10,850 Certainly, sir. 350 00:23:17,790 --> 00:23:21,510 There's a street near Plymouth, ho, where sailors like to go. 351 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:24,290 There's a name there called the Fawlty Pussy Cat. 352 00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:28,850 There's a broken -hearted gal with the name of Sad -Eyed Val. 353 00:23:29,130 --> 00:23:31,690 On her feet, beside the bar, you'll find her fat. 354 00:23:32,370 --> 00:23:36,990 She'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear, sip your wine and swig your beer, 355 00:23:36,990 --> 00:23:39,330 sing a simple song, though slightly flat. 356 00:23:40,050 --> 00:23:44,110 She used to juggle with a carrot, or a banana, than a parrot. 357 00:23:44,330 --> 00:23:46,950 But things got hard, and she had to eat the axe. 358 00:23:47,570 --> 00:23:52,870 Oh, said a tear, said a tear, that I'd found, that I'd found, all her hopes and 359 00:23:52,870 --> 00:23:57,190 dreams will fade and fall apart, fall apart, and be thin -feared, be thin 360 00:23:57,190 --> 00:23:58,530 -feared, with your own gown. 361 00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:02,760 In your hand you hold your love of heart. 362 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,980 To the seamen she was a prize. 363 00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:09,100 A real fight for four eyes. 364 00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:11,900 And the officer, they smiled on her as well. 365 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,320 And Captain Sidney Smart took one look, then lofty fart. 366 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,060 Though he thought he'd married, then he proved himself. 367 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,060 One night he felt her fockley five. 368 00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:26,920 Felt that I'd love you till I die. Let me feel it. Let me feel it with a kiss. 369 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,960 Found that anger filled the air. 370 00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:34,270 Didn't fell for Fubon there. He held a knife and snarled. Oh, it has come to 371 00:24:34,270 --> 00:24:35,189 this. 372 00:24:35,190 --> 00:24:40,370 The knife was aimed at felled fox Fubon. He parried with a cupon. He was 373 00:24:40,370 --> 00:24:42,750 spinning feathers, vaulting through the air. 374 00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:49,130 He'd ended up in Sydney, just below his kidney. Food and screaming went before 375 00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:50,130 him, lying there. 376 00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:54,060 But fed a tear. Fed a tear. And I'd bow. 377 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:57,920 And I'd bow. All her hope and dreams will fade and fall apart. 378 00:24:58,140 --> 00:24:59,500 Fall apart. And be sincere. 379 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:00,839 Be sincere. 380 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:01,840 To your own gal. 381 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:06,040 To your own gal. Remember in your hand you hold a young girl's heart. 382 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,420 Thou rough to fig me fried. 383 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,220 Oh, fig to me, she cried. 384 00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:15,280 He forked some whiskey down him from a nearby glass. 385 00:25:16,490 --> 00:25:21,370 And Fee nerfed him night and day and discreetly turned away when Fee gave him 386 00:25:21,370 --> 00:25:23,250 his injection in his car. 387 00:25:24,030 --> 00:25:26,050 In his seat there came a fluff. 388 00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:27,970 He gift her a hand that made her bluff. 389 00:25:28,190 --> 00:25:31,050 Fee smiled happily to see him looking so well. 390 00:25:31,470 --> 00:25:36,090 Soon he could stand on his own feet and walk unaided down the street. For we 391 00:25:36,090 --> 00:25:38,530 went off and married Lady Foov and Fnell. 392 00:25:38,910 --> 00:25:40,250 Who fed a tear. 393 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:47,720 For that I fell All her hope and dreams will fade and fall apart And deep 394 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:54,560 in fear To your own gown Remember in your hand you hold another heart 395 00:25:54,560 --> 00:26:01,520 If you're ever Plymouth way and down that street you chow to stray And you 396 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,240 feel foolhardy and adventurous 397 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:10,060 Think carefully before you venture through the door beneath the swinging 398 00:26:10,060 --> 00:26:11,420 that fly old poof. 399 00:26:12,140 --> 00:26:17,720 Go and drink with filthy Farrah, or cattle market Clara, or knickers Nell, 400 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:18,940 they're all sweet and refined. 401 00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:24,720 But if your heart is filled with lust, and drink with sell you must, remember, 402 00:26:24,820 --> 00:26:26,980 see how buffered Toby kind. 403 00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:30,920 And if, when he's had a few. 404 00:26:31,530 --> 00:26:36,010 Hold her close to you, and you think you're in a dream, though you're awake. 405 00:26:37,230 --> 00:26:43,970 Don't be taken by surprise, if when he's close to eyes, he calls you Darling 406 00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:45,850 Sidney by mistake. 407 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,440 fed a tear. 408 00:26:48,860 --> 00:26:50,820 For that I fell. 409 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,880 All her hope and dreams will fade and fall apart. 410 00:26:55,460 --> 00:27:02,220 And deep in fear, your own girl, remember in your hand you hold 411 00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:04,220 your love of heart. 412 00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:41,400 The young ones didn't dig it. And they thought it put us down. They said 413 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,820 always trouble whenever we're around. 414 00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:45,020 But we made it. 415 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,440 The love and dance and sing. 416 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,300 In peace with one another. 417 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,400 It was there we did our thing. We came to Woodstick. 418 00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:54,740 Woodstick. 419 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:06,840 to be milk. 420 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,440 Strawberry. Definitely strawberry. 421 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:12,640 It's tangy. 422 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,760 I don't know what it is. 423 00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:24,040 Here. I've been looking for that paint. 424 00:36:24,460 --> 00:36:25,980 Touch up your balustrade. 425 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,680 Touch up your balustrade in a minute, for God's sake. 426 00:36:28,940 --> 00:36:29,940 Hey! 427 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,960 What do you think you're playing at? You're putting out a bloody poison me. 428 00:36:37,770 --> 00:36:40,470 And now for our autumn fashion parade. 429 00:36:41,170 --> 00:36:47,710 Here is Trudy, wearing a lovely skirt and bolero in brown suede with a 430 00:36:47,710 --> 00:36:48,710 motif. 431 00:36:51,130 --> 00:36:55,470 The ensemble can be worn with a belt, or equally attractively, without a belt. 432 00:36:58,170 --> 00:36:59,510 And now for the gentlemen. 433 00:36:59,890 --> 00:37:04,430 Here is Jeremy and his new leather suit, all set for an evening out at London's 434 00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,430 Jet Set. 435 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:23,800 non -smoker. 436 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,900 And should the evening prove a little warm, he can remove the jacket to reveal 437 00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,780 novel touch, the backless shirt. 438 00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:37,340 His ensemble can be worn with the belt or, equally attractively, without the 439 00:37:37,340 --> 00:37:38,340 belt. 440 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,600 I didn't use my deodorant today. 441 00:37:57,300 --> 00:37:59,280 I didn't use my deodorant yesterday. 442 00:37:59,860 --> 00:38:01,980 I might not use my deodorant tomorrow. 443 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,820 Oh, please, please use it tomorrow. 444 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:10,560 Hi 445 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:17,360 there. 446 00:38:17,580 --> 00:38:18,580 I'm Cheryl. 447 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,260 I've got 747s going to Miami. 448 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:22,560 Fly me. 449 00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,180 I'm candy. 450 00:38:28,580 --> 00:38:29,980 I've got 238. 451 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:31,200 Go. 452 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:38,060 I'm sorry, can I go? I'm sorry. 453 00:38:39,260 --> 00:38:40,820 Tim's TV Panto, take one. 454 00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:43,020 So this is Turnham Green. 455 00:38:43,380 --> 00:38:45,520 My, you're a pretty one and no mistake. 456 00:38:45,860 --> 00:38:47,180 What say you, Dobbin? 457 00:39:22,410 --> 00:39:23,209 And candy. 458 00:39:23,210 --> 00:39:25,030 I've got jumbos. Go... 459 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:32,470 And 460 00:39:32,470 --> 00:39:33,470 now, beachwear. 461 00:39:34,030 --> 00:39:40,030 Here's Gypsy, all ready for her summer holidays in a blouse jacket in fabulous 462 00:39:40,030 --> 00:39:42,010 brown and gold chiffon. 463 00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:50,660 And when the sun comes out, she removes her jacket to reveal a daring swimsuit 464 00:39:50,660 --> 00:39:52,560 in eye -catching canary yellow. 465 00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:57,800 So it's on with the sunglasses and down to the beach. 466 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:00,940 And here's Jeremy. 467 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,040 And 468 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:13,340 here's 469 00:40:13,340 --> 00:40:14,340 Jeremy again. 470 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,620 Jeremy's ensemble is in red and black carefree cotton. 471 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:30,060 And when the sun comes out, he slips off his jacket to show his gay, matching, 472 00:40:30,220 --> 00:40:31,260 crease -shedding hat. 473 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:39,440 So it's on with his trendiest sunglasses and down to the beach. 474 00:40:53,710 --> 00:40:58,370 Hi there. I'm Candy. I've got 747s going to Miami. 475 00:41:01,030 --> 00:41:02,030 Miami. 476 00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:04,510 Oh, fly me? 477 00:41:05,610 --> 00:41:07,010 Oh, fly me. 478 00:41:23,050 --> 00:41:24,050 Good noon, men. 479 00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:24,690 Good 480 00:41:24,690 --> 00:41:36,370 noon, 481 00:41:36,450 --> 00:41:38,090 men, after ladies' gentle bodies. 482 00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:45,590 And a spaceship welcome to all the little poisoned girls. 483 00:41:46,830 --> 00:41:50,830 And when I say poisoned girls, I don't mean little girls who have taken poison 484 00:41:50,830 --> 00:41:52,030 and become poisoned girls. 485 00:41:52,650 --> 00:41:55,890 I mean, of course, all the little chilblains. 486 00:41:56,850 --> 00:41:59,070 So much for German satire. 487 00:42:21,770 --> 00:42:23,470 Die Glock reicht ein! 488 00:42:23,870 --> 00:42:25,950 Die Glock reicht ein! 489 00:42:26,330 --> 00:42:31,870 Die Glock... Nein, 490 00:42:32,130 --> 00:42:35,530 hier! Die Hände! 491 00:42:36,270 --> 00:42:43,010 Die Hände! Die Hände! Die Hände! Die Hände! Die Hände! Die 492 00:42:43,010 --> 00:42:49,808 Hände! 493 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:54,800 That's Tim's television. 494 00:42:57,940 --> 00:43:02,620 And now we have a solo by our solo singer. His name is Siegfried. 495 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,120 This young man. This young man. 496 00:43:06,140 --> 00:43:09,180 Are you Siegfried? 497 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,000 Yes. A young man? 498 00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:14,540 You have a good pair of lungs for a young man. 499 00:43:15,870 --> 00:43:17,730 She has a good match for a woman. 500 00:43:18,670 --> 00:43:20,790 And a really nice tockel. Yes. 501 00:43:21,170 --> 00:43:25,270 And so Jungmann had him sing a solo of rhyme. 502 00:43:26,890 --> 00:43:33,010 Little Bopi lost, Mr. Schief, and don't know where they're researching. 503 00:43:33,270 --> 00:43:38,990 She lives alone and she wants to come home. Yes, with the dingle, dongle, 504 00:43:39,010 --> 00:43:40,010 dingle, dingle. 505 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,220 wants a bunch of Fumpf on guard had. 506 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,620 Go and take steps. 507 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,160 Did you hear that? 508 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,220 Not to your Nelly. 509 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,920 That was very nice. 510 00:44:04,460 --> 00:44:05,460 Very good. 511 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,520 No, very, very, very good. 512 00:44:09,020 --> 00:44:10,840 See me later in the dressing room, yes? 513 00:44:11,620 --> 00:44:16,220 So now, ladies and gentlemen, one Children's poem for the first time in English 514 00:44:16,220 --> 00:44:17,220 with Helmut. 515 00:44:17,770 --> 00:44:20,190 Aditha is the best of people in all class. 516 00:44:20,710 --> 00:44:22,770 And they're singing in English. 517 00:44:26,970 --> 00:44:29,130 And little Jack. 518 00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:31,870 Little Jack. Corner. 519 00:44:32,350 --> 00:44:34,290 Corner. Yeah. Good. 520 00:44:34,850 --> 00:44:37,430 Corner. Set. I mean. 521 00:44:37,790 --> 00:44:38,790 The stool. 522 00:44:39,990 --> 00:44:41,890 Set in a corner. 523 00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:18,100 Yes. Yes. 524 00:45:20,060 --> 00:45:21,060 Yes. 525 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:30,840 He put in his... What happened he put in? 526 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,220 It is 527 00:45:34,220 --> 00:45:40,900 too warm. 528 00:45:42,100 --> 00:45:45,660 He put 529 00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:52,400 in his... He 530 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:53,800 put in his thumb. 531 00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:59,340 Tom? Nick Tom? Dick Tom? Yeah. And pulled out? 532 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:06,120 And what pulled the man out? 533 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:08,720 Slick! 534 00:46:10,420 --> 00:46:12,980 Come, what happened he could pull him out? 535 00:46:36,170 --> 00:46:37,190 sticking in, ja? Ja. 536 00:46:37,450 --> 00:46:39,290 So it must be the time what they're taking out. 537 00:46:42,590 --> 00:46:43,790 That figures, ja. 538 00:46:45,590 --> 00:46:46,590 Nein. 539 00:46:46,970 --> 00:46:51,630 He pulled... He pulled out a plum. 540 00:46:54,950 --> 00:46:59,210 Helmut, am I getting through to you? He pulled out a plum. 541 00:47:44,650 --> 00:47:47,750 So, we have a piece of classical music. 542 00:47:48,190 --> 00:47:49,750 Mozart and Liszt. 543 00:47:50,090 --> 00:47:56,810 And that one is... We have Erste von Mozart. 544 00:47:57,950 --> 00:48:00,630 We have Der Rondo a la Turck. 545 00:48:16,460 --> 00:48:17,460 Frank, Frank, Frank. 546 00:48:17,620 --> 00:48:19,620 Frank, Frank, Frank. 547 00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:24,940 You're lying, Harvey! 548 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:29,800 Don't jump! 549 00:49:01,380 --> 00:49:04,040 Bum bum bum bum bum bum! 550 00:49:30,060 --> 00:49:33,540 Until we meet again, on behalf of us all, may I say... 551 00:50:16,059 --> 00:50:17,740 Thank you.